I know I know, it’s been awhile since I’ve gotten on here and written (typed is more like it) anything. The last few weeks of school were really busy and I didn’t have a lot of free time. Lately I have been thinking and reflecting a lot on my last days at Ravencrest, and all of the relationships that I built and the people I had to say goodbye too. I’m usually pretty terrible at saying goodbye to people, probably because in my mind, if I don’t acknowledge the fact that I may never see them again in this life, then it’s not real, if that makes sense. I’m a pretty emotional guy, but I was actually holding it together pretty well until Saturday night after graduation.
Mine and my girlfriend’s families went over the the Snyder’s for dinner and a chance to get to know each other a little bit. I had an amazing time. The Snyder kids are full of joy and love for one another and everyone that their parents invite into their home. After hours of laughing, eating (delicious delicious food I might add), and swinging kids around by their ankles, it was time for the kids to go to bed. Now, I love all of the Snyder children, but I had a special connection with Camille. With her laugh, extreme athleticism, and incredible joy, it’s no wonder that we were made for each other. Or at least, I was made, according to her, for the sole purpose of swinging her around by her feet and throwing her on the couch. So when her mom told her to say goodnight to everyone she looked right at me and said, “Are you leaving?” (Keep in mind she’s 2), I tried answering her with words, but I was all choked up, so I just nodded. I thought I had gotten past the worst of it so I breathed a sigh of relief….then I heard Camille’s beautiful little voice ask, “Why?”…I lost it. I couldn’t answer her. What could I tell her that would make sense? “Well you see, I have to go home because I only paid for 1 year of tuition and I am going to work this summer and go to school somewhere else next year.”…NO! All she understood was that her friends were leaving and she wanted to know why.
It’s times like that when I am reminded that Christ calls us to have faith like a child. So often we overcomplicate things with worrying, anxiety, and fear. It’s only when we act as Camille did, and come to God with innocence and a sincere longing for answers that we will find joy and peace in him.
Now that I’ve been home for a few days I’m starting to get back into the swing of things. I was having a kind of weird peace about everything that was going on. I’m not going to see my girlfriend until august, I’m in desperate need of money but I only got scheduled for an hour this week, and I have nothing to do to fill up all my time. I shouldn’t have been so happy and at peace with things. Well I had somewhat of a realization last night that this peace that I was feeling was the peace that Christ talked about in Matthew 11:28-30.
“Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
WOW! I was finally experiencing the rest of my soul that I had been longing for for so long throughout the year. There was no magic prayer to say, or a list of things to do to find it. It was only when I acknowledged that I couldn’t make it through the summer by myself, and kept asking God to help me, that I experienced it. Just like a child that knows what they want but can’t accomplish it by themselves, I asked God to help me with something that I knew I wanted to happen, but also knew that I couldn’t make it happen by my own power.
My prayer for all of you is that you will seek after God will all your hearts so that you can experience this joy and peace the same way that I have. The sooner we all admit that we can’t do anything successfully in life without Christ, the sooner we will enter his rest, and experience the true weightlessness of life with Him.